The second coming

Right now there are two questions I hate.

The first: “Awww, when are you due?” Firstly how rude! Secondly I just had a baby, y’know 10 months ago, and I like cake and my postpartum tummy… Thirdly, these are my yoga pants, not my maternity pants -YOOOO-GAAAHH!!

The second: So when are you having another?

And this brings up a rather interesting dilemma. Solos or siblings? Do you need multiple children?

 I love Peachy, probably more than a mother should, and see our family as perfect as we are. But Husband and I have talked about childREN never child. 

A few months ago I was thinking of approaching Husband and seeing how the land lies with trying for our second baba but is this right for us? And more importantly is this right for Peachy?

Peachy is used to 2 parents loving and doting on her as a solo. A good 2:1 ratio in her favour. Would she respond well to a sibling? A rival who evens up the parental odds and takes attention away from her? I know that at 10 months old these are probably not the questions she is pondering – more like “I wonder what the cat’s tail tastes like and why won’t she let me have a teency wincy nibble?!” But we do have to take this into consideration. As readers know, I had a most perfect and wonderful pregnancy and a very uncomplicated and smooth birthing process. What are the odds I’m going to get that twice?!

A good friend of mine is currently pregnant with her first baby and due in the next few months. I seem to be her oracle on all things pregnancy related (God help the poor girl!) and I can’t help but feel a little envious of her naivety for her upcoming birth. 

  • She doesn’t know when she is just at the start of her contractions thinking it won’t get worse than this that it actually bloody does.
  • She doesn’t know that breaking of waters is elating, disgusting and terrifying simultaneously.
  • She doesn’t know that there are points you think your body is going to tear open and you are going to deliver a vital organ alongside a baby.
  • That it’s nothing like you imagine it will be. The birthing plan is just something for your peace of mind and rarely looked at by the midwives!
  • But she also doesn’t know that rush of love and surge of emotions when you lie eyes on this perfect little person for the first time. 
  • That the face and eyes you imagined for nine months is now looking back at you.
  • That you instantly forget the pain that nearly tore you apart.

It is such a hard decision. Risk it and see what happens? Do siblings work better for a family dynamic?Who says we need the white picket fence and 2.4 children to be a perfect family?

One thought on “The second coming

  1. I feel the same! Our daughter has just turned
    2 and I’m slowly warming to the idea of a sibling for her, but still not just yet.
    She likes to have all the attention on her (even strangers in the shops haha), and I still feel like I couldn’t love another like I love her. When she was younger I was adamant it would just be her (it’s not been an easy ride – hospital trips, allergies etc.), but my nana (an only child) has recently been in hospital and she said she always wished she had a sibling. Which made me quite sad. So maybe one day Daisy will have a sibling, but we’re in no rush. We want to enjoy these early years with her and then be able to do the same classes etc with the next one. I’d also quite like her to have weaned before then too haha!

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